Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Dating while Married

Dating while Married:
Is it important or not?
I think that it is and I didnt know really HOW important it was until I needed to get out and do it myelf. LOL Now....just to clear it up a bit here....I'm talking about dating our SPOUSE! Not someone else while married.:0) Although some out there feel the need to do that as well and hey, I'm not a judge but I'm just saying. Hopefully you try this before it gets to that point but this is about dating our spouses while married! LOL
Much to often once the ring is on the finger the game of "house" becomes the routine. Sort of like playing that favorite game over and over until everyone is sick of it! We become almost robotic in our emotions and responses to everyday things INCLUDING our spouse. Oh wow...its tuesday night! 6 o'clock...dinner, 7 o'clock bathe the kids and 8 o'clock put them in bed. 9 o'clock shower and 9:30 sex with the husband (or wife which ever way your looking at this) 9:40...bed. That sucks!!!
What the heck ever happened to being followed into the pantry because they just couldnt keep their hands off of you? Writing notes and leaving them hidden only to be found by our lover later in the day. Making love 3-4-8 times a night because you just cant stand not doing so with your lover so close to you! Ladies....getting dressed up to meet your lover because well...you want to look your best for them. Give them the impression that THIS is what they will wake up to everyday for the rest of their lives! lol (Suckers)! lol Guys...holding in those gases that are saved up for those special moments of cuddle time after the ring is on their finger...when you shove your lovers head under the covers and giver them the ol" Dutch Oven!
Now of course, being comfortable and feeling free and secure enough in the relationship is so important as well. But letting the other initial things just fade away into oblivion can be fatal to any relationship.
Those of you who know me and my husband know that we love to have our date nights. ;0) I do my best to get dressed up still to look my best for him. And he does the same. I tell him all the time that "little boys dont want to keep the toys that the other little boys dont want to play with!" LOL But it's true to a point. I give him no reason to worry. Everything that I do is done right in front of him. Nothing too bad and if it gets close....he tells me. LOL Same goes for him. Communication while having fun is also important. Its how we learn. Trust me...he doesnt go with me to karaoke because he loves to hear me sing. LOL He knows how much I love having him there with me and that there are rewards given to him later on in the evening for sharing that time with me. A little positive reinforcement goes a long way as well.
Dates are even more important if you have children. Yes they are the most important things in our lives! not denying that at all. But how happy are they when mommy and daddy arent getting along? We tell our kids.."when you stop hearing 'those' noises from mommy and daddys room...THEN it's time to worry"!
How many of us have spent so much time with our kids that the only conversation we have had all day was that with a 2 year old. Whinning and crying and before long we are whinning and crying too. We need adult time. Socializing with others our own age. Talking about something other then elmo and spongebob. It revives us. Makes our adult meltdowns less frequent. We dont have to do this daily. I'm not saying that, Maybe once a week?
My point is this....Keep the Magic Alive! Dont get stuck in a rutt wondering what the heck happened to us?! Nurture your relationships. If its beginning to fade in areas then spice it up a bit. Don't let them think that this is all you got. Surprises are nice at times. Being spontaneous is nice at times too.
When our relationships are healthy and happy...so are we!

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